Fat Straight

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? Billy Connoly

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. George Globol

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. Dick Van Dyke

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Fred Allen

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Author Unknown

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. George Ade

An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault. William Castle

Without geography, you're nowhere. Author Unknown

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. P.D. East

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Author Unknown

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. Sir Winston Churchill

Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. Author Unknown

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit. Bill Maher

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Unknown

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. Mark Twain

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Unknown

God's last name is not "Dammit." Unknown

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about. Oscar Wilde

A line is a dot that went for a walk.Paul Klee

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Robert Bloch

Have a nice day!